A few thoughts on the role of anger in domestic violence. Anger’s main role is to neuro-chemically anesthetize fear. Fear of what? Fear of

  • Shame
  • Criticism
  • Rejection
  • Abandonment
  • [Fill in your deepest fear]

Anger is more powerful than any other anesthesia. It is 20 times more powerful than morphine.

Angry people can never be wrong because it might prove that the suspicion they have about themselves might be true. “I am a failure.” “I’m no good.” “I’m bad.” “I’m a loser.”

They will fight with anyone who dares comes close to exposing whatever the lie is that they DON’T want to believe about themselves.

Angry people have many secrets and many wounds that need to exposed, healed, and, most of all, loved.

Question: What are you most afraid of?

The Role of Righteous Anger
Righteous anger is a just reason to get angry. It brings justice to an unjust act. It really takes COURAGE to stand for that justice.

Men need respect and are at their best when challenged. Respect:

  • To look upon as having value
  • The condition of being esteemed or honored
  • To be held in value

Women need to be cherished and to feel secure. This brings value to us. When we feel valued – like we’re number one in our relationship – it brings us a sense of confidence and security.

We were all designed for intimacy, and many of us remain lonely.

Being a victim of someone else’s anger can cause a sense of co-dependency – a feeling of responsibility for other people’s feelings, problems, and behavior. The LIE victims believe: It is my fault that he is so angry.

Question: Can you change anyone? Are we responsible for others’ reactions and responses to us?

Read more about anger, fear, and domestic violence at www.eagles-wings-ministry.com.

Filed under: Domestic Violence

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